My little boy...

Aidan would be 6 months and a few days old.  I often have a "something is missing" feeling when it's the three of us together. It's mostly a gut feeling that, like many things in life, can't be captured with words. Hard to imagine my little family with four of us.

My friend Tanya has a little boy, Atticus, that was born a few weeks before Aidan. I love to watch him grow. Atticus allows me to imagine my Aidan at different stages in a more tangible way. It's hard to describe. While painful at times it helps me connect with feelings and fleeting thoughts that would otherwise pass by too quickly. Even if it only in my imagination, I get to dream of what Aidan may have been like at 6 months. I can think 'O- he'd be getting ready to crawl right around now'.  What he may have looked like- hair, no hair? Pudgy or wiry? Would he look more like Brian or me? I get to make up the sound of his coo's. Even though he will only ever "grow-up" in my imagination, he will always live on in my heart.